It made me wonder if society and I had replaced the all too often said and heard sentiment of "you have good hair". And it dawned on me, this shrinkage thing for most of us naturals is real. Especially us with kinky, 4C, whatever you wanna call it hair. Is this the new version of you have better hair than I do? Or that only certain people can go natural? I never thought shrinkage was a problem up until I came across a comment a reader of mine left on my Facebook page:
"Your hair looks very soft and easy to work with, especially on the edges. It also keeps stretched out length beautifully"
As soon as I read that, I had a montage of flashbacks to when I'd rock up to work or a social gathering with my shrunken, unstyled fro and how people would look at me quizzically and ask (in silence or aloud) "What happened to your hair?", "Did you cut it?", "I thought you had soft hair","You look...different". It's these questions, comments and general reactions that validated my insecurities of wearing my hair unstretched. Hang on, doesn't that defeat the whole accepting your hair as it grows naturally thing?
Up until last year, I very rarely left the house with my hair in its shrunken state. For the first few years of being natural, I thought the only way to look cute and funky is when my hair was stretched then 'curlified' by twist or braid out or similar. But with my timetable last year not really permitting me to spend the previous 10 minutes in the evening prepping and 15 minutes in the morning styling, I began to leave my house more with a shrunken yet nicely moisturised fro. Knowing my fro much better now, I know it needs a drink everyday - twice a day - to be happy. And the odd times I let sleep win the evening battle and I don't prep my hair properly before, that results in shrinkage. Shrinkage I used to hate for a couple reasons:
- I wanted to show off the full length of my hair. It's taken me years to get to this length and it hasn't been smooth sailing. So I wanted to show the fruits of my labour. Otherwise, what's the point right? I love big hair and if my hair is big - whether manipulated to get there or not - I wanted everyone to see it.
- I felt cooler/funkier/more beautiful with my hair stretched. My thoughts were validated every time I rocked up to work or other social gatherings with my hair shrunken. Even on my Instragram account, my more popular styles are those that are fluffy and longer looking.
Then when I finally got over it and began accepting that this was how my hair would always be, I began to appreciate shrinkage. I mean, how many people can style their hair in a way that made them look like they're rocking a new cut? Then BOOM next day it's long again. Natural hair is incredibly versatile. Maybe shrinkage isn't supposed to be something we work against, but embrace, at least for the right reasons. Because I know wearing my hair shrunken these days just means tangles and breakage and that's now the only reason why I stretch it. But the odd times I want to look like my hair has more volume or a kinkier look to match my outfit, I can. And easily. Isn't that kinda... awesome?