I believe Fro and I have called a truce.
Looking back, it's actually been awhile since I fought with my hair. I wanted to wait to see if it was a phase before letting you know. My hair journey hasn't been smooth sailing and I've documented that with you over the years. But at this point, I can honestly say that I love my hair. Sometimes, when I have a protective style in, I look over my old photos and the past couple of times I've done this, I'd get hair envy...of my own hair. Yes, I just said that. Is it narcissistic? Ummm, I guess so. But I don't care. There are many people out there who don't love my hair, my hair type or discouraged me to go natural before I big chopped, and even after I did. So for me to love my hair is a huge achievement and I'm proud to share that love with you.
The first couple of years after fully being natural I went through days where I'd curse my hair in the mornings. Sometimes every morning especially when I tried to emulate a style I saw the other day and Fro says a big fat NO. I'd joke about it afterwards but it was incredibly frustrating because in my mind I was doing everything right and didn’t understand why my hair wasn’t on board. I don't know when it happened exactly but these days Fro and I are getting on swimmingly.
Here are some 'tricks' I believe help me avoid the morning battles...
- I prep my hair every night. I know my hair hates being left alone to its own devices and without TLC the night before. So if I don't spritz it then twist or braid it the night before, I wake up knowing there's a fight on my hands for me. Fro being dry, matted and knotted equals a fight. So I don’t play those games. And once in a blue moon I do but at least I know the next morning that Fro’s not going to be happy so I’m prepared for it. I take it as seriously as going to bed with make up on – no no.
- I’m a recovering product junkie. For a long time, I was on the search for the perfect set of products only to recently acknowledge that there is no such thing but I do have old faithfuls that Fro loves and has loved since the beginning. So I listen to my hair much quicker these days. I can tell almost straight away if a product doesn’t get on with Fro and I leave it. I’m still open to trying new products, because you never know. And as I said, there’s no “perfect” product. But my experimenting has definitely slowed down compared to the first couple of years.
- I let Fro do its thing. These days it takes me less time to do my hair than it does my makeup. I used to style my hair trying to copy a style I saw somewhere online of a woman with longer/curlier/insert any other adjective here hair than mine. But in the morning my hair's stubborn as hell and won't budge or do that thing her hair did in the video. So now, I let my hair's state dictate the style I end up rocking. I usually have have an idea of what I'd like but it’ll only be confirmed once I undo my twists or braids or pigtails. I unravel, play with it and do something that'll work for it. And whatever that is I accept and I work with it. Many people don’t know how many ‘bad hair days’ I could’ve had and accidental styles I create.
I love Fro because it's the most me than any of the hairstyles I rock. Every time I change my hair and have extensions installed, I always have someone come up to me and say "this suits you so much!" "I love this style on you, you should always wear it" and I smile and say thank you but deep down I know that it's temporary and my beloved Fro will bounce out of protection eventually and we'll be reunited. There's just nothing more amazing than feeling my own hair. I don't play with my weaves or braids but when Fro's out it's all I do (um, bad habit I know but I can't help it). And four years on, it continues to surprise me.
So I'm saying it, to the world and all. I. LOVE. MY. HAIR.
I hope you love yours too!