Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Newbie Natural: My 3 Basic Steps to Going Natural - Part 2


Last week, I took you through the first steps I'd recommend someone to take to go natural. For some women, the decision isn't one they make lightly. This is part 2 of the blog post. For part one, click here

3. Prepare (after preparing yourself first)
  • Your significant other: Everyone's relationship is different and the significance of that relationship in a woman's life is different. So please take the following as just my advice and opinion based on my own experience. I touched on this topic last year and I do feel strongly about not encouraging any woman to sacrifice such an important relationship because of hair. Whether it's to keep it relaxed 'against your will' or to chop it all off when he's already mentioned he's not in. But you at least want to try to get him in right? 

Once you've made up your mind, sit your man down and talk to him about it. Clearly explain the reasons why you've decided to go natural. The reason why I'd suggest you make your mind about it first is to make sure you have a clear objective and you can concisely explain your decision to your partner without leaving any room for doubt. You can even set the conversation up as an open one to make him feel like he's a part of the final decision, just to soften the potential blow. I think the key thing is to not make it seem like a rash decision and that you're 'just jumping on the band wagon'. Once he's more open to the idea, try and include him in your quest to finding out more about going and being natural. Keep him as updated as he allows on your journey. Some guys might just leave you to it because hair talk bores the hell out of them. Others might appreciate seeing the transformation and understanding why you now have to twist your hair every night or take a couple hours to detangle. When I was transitioning, I was obsessed with all blogs, websites and videos natural. It's almost all I could think and talk about so my man was very much included in that obsession and decision making. If it helps, you could also discuss the date in which you're planning on big chopping just so he's extra prepared.

  • Your family and friends: Similarly to your significant other, your family and friends will form your main support group. If they're not in, it could be quite hard for you as family is usually much more vocal with their opinions. A simple heads up should be enough but you may want to include a brief explanation as to why you're doing it. Make it clear that their support is really important to you. Keep in mind that everyone will have different opinions about your hair whatever its state. Some people tell me they prefer me in braids, while others loved my relaxed hair and didn't understand why I chopped it all off. Others are indifferent but most have now respected the fact that I choose to wear my hair the way I do. For some family members and friends who have known you for a long time, it could be just as simple as giving them time to get used to it. Once you rock it confidently and beautifully, they'll see that and follow suit. You never know, some might even be inspired by you and go natural themselves.
Please note that these posts are merely my advice and based on my own experience.

Have you jumped and survived being natural? Share your tips in the comments below. Sharing is caring!


4 comments:

  1. Great post! I just had a chat with my hubby yesterday about cutting my hair. I have long relaxed hair, and have been thinking of going natural for the past 5 months, if not more lol. It feels like a big decision, not yet decided if I'll do a BC or transition for a few more months as I had my last relaxer in March. Your site helps a lot :)

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    1. Thanks for your comment Porshy. It can be a big decision that can affect you and the way you carry yourself both in a negative and positive way. I think it makes sense to involve your hubby in that and if you have his support and acceptance it'll be easier to tackle any possible speed bumps on the way. Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine ;)

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  2. Aisha (sorry if I spelt your name wrong) I'm 17 years old and in matric this year and I also decided to go natural last year in Sept I went for the bald big chop I didn't do anything to it until I came across your blog exactly a month ago. My hair is 5 cm right now, I have very slow growth (I'm okay with that) but recently, my hairline has been thinning, my tamples and my napes good god basically my halr looks like I did a mohawk and I am not happy its a crisis, I've used everything you use I co-wash it etc and stuff. I need your help ASAP I don't want to shave my hair. Like tips and stuff and if possible hairstyle tips PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MY MATRIC BALL with such hair. ..

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    1. Hi Nonkanyiso. I always applaud young ladies who decide to go natural while still being in school. It can be a scary decision either way and I know all too well of the pressures high school brings about. The tips you're looking for are already on this blog. Please make use of the search box on the right to look for specific things. I have a ton of style ideas under the pages "my styles", and my 30 days series "30 Updos" and "30 Accessories". Please exlpore. Thanks and good luck ;)

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